Normally in January I have this feeling of second chances, and starting over, and feeling like things are going to happen. So why does it seem like every day that passes I look around and...nothing. It's the same old thing. I'm still on the same merry-go-round. I still don't have enough hours in the day. I still don't have enough energy for what I'd like to do much less for what I need to do. I try to be optimistic, but nothing seems to change. So where can I buy some rose colored glasses? I try to be optimistic, but nothing seems to change. How do I get that "anything is possible" attitude? They say you can find anything on e-bay, but I'm not sure what category to search under for these things. It always used to come so naturally, but I've been waiting, looking, and running around in hopes of a miracle: something that will make me want to wake up in the morning, something that will convince me that life will get to that place of relative peace. I'm having a hard time believing that I'll ever get there.
I know this feeling will pass...at least I hope it will. Hormones and exhaustion reek havoc on me. It's hard to think of the last time I felt rested.
For now I just get through each day, hoping tomorrow I'll want to.
Caren E. Salas